July 27, 2003- a day that will no doubt one day become legendary. This is the day I got my job at Sin City. I am St. Mongo, and I'm a pornstore whore. (No, not that kind of whore, you dirty fucker!)

Now, truth be told, I freakin' love my job. I work with a wonderful friend, who also happens to be the boss, (some of you already know him by the oh-so-creative name of Friend/Boss), sarcasm is an asset, not a liablity, and I can wear whatever I want. However, there are some days when I get the uncontrolable urge to set someone on fire. Below are the reasons why in no particular order.

June 1 , 2004- Construction Blows

Okay...I know I try to be funny in my words here (emphasis on the word "try"), but this one's kinda serious. Our store is located on a pretty busy downtown street. It's not the best location, but it's been good enough. Well, about a week ago, the city decided to rip up just about the entire fucking road which has made it nearly impossible for anyone to get to the store. Our flow of customers has really slowed down. It's not so bad on my shifts, the constuction stops around 6pm, but it's virtually dead on Friend/Boss' shifts. It won't be getting better anytime soon, either. Construction is probably going to run to October. Fucking October!

So we're looking to get out. We're on the hunt for a new location fast. Like within a week kinda fast. We have one place in mind in a pretty sweet location. Friend/Boss and all the other boss-type people have had a look at it, and the landlord has discussed with our owner briefly. It's definatly not a for-sure yet, but we're hoping. Hard.

So to you my faithful readers (all 4 of you), we need your good vibes/thoughts/mojo/money, anything positive you can send our way. I know this is a step back from my usual cynicism and bitchery, but none of us want to lose our jobs, and despite the mainly fat/gross/perverted/smelly clientel it generates, I really do care about my little porno shop!

June 3, 2004- #135

I came into work today to find Friend/Boss angrily typing something in the computer. Knowing him as I do, I figured it was best to let him finish rather than interupt to say hi. I walked on to the bathroom and he told me the story when I came out.

There was this customer, let's call him #135, who I'd rented two dvds to on Sunday. Turns out when entering the catalogue number on his invoice, I typed 11588 rather than 11855. You stare at a bunch of 5-digit numbers all day, you're bound to mix them up at some point, and it's a mistake we've all made. Anyhoo, somehow one of these dvds got misplaced and #135 called to complain. Seems that he'd switched cases with other dvds he had and Friend/Boss tried to explain to him that in order to correct the problem, he was going to have to come by the store. After much bitching, arguing, and irate-ness on #135's part, he burst out, "Well fuck this, I'm coming in to talk to you!"
Gee, that's only what Friend/Boss had been asking him to do for the past five minutes.
#135 came to the store and after a bit of searching, Friend/Boss found the missing dvd and everything was put back in their properly numbered cases, and everything was okay. Friend/Boss explained that it was just a clerical error, that's all. No big deal, right? Not quite. After Friend/Boss explained that "whoever was working on Sunday (he knows it was me, but he doesn't tell anyone who works when) entered the numbers wrong," #135 responded with, "Oh yeah, that fucking bitch," and walked out the door. Friend/Boss said he yelled after him but didn't bother to follow him. Instead he closed his account and left him this little love note:

"Mr. '#135',

On June 3, 2004, you called in regards to a misplaced dvd. During the conversation, I did everything possible to track it down. I referenced your previous invoices, checked the titles on the invoice against the titles on the shelves, and found them to match.
As it turned out, yes, there was a problem on this end - that the dvd catalog number had been entered incorrectly.
It was the result of a clerical error - 11588 had been entered rather than 11855. I was being as honest as possible under the circumstances.
Still, I fully understand how that was frustrating.
**However, dvd titles are written on the case to which they belong, as they appear on the dvd itself. In some instances, this "title" is the manufacturer's catalog number. I do this to encourage customers to return dvds in the appropriate cases.
*You* put the wrong disc in the case. The clerical error on this end made finding the correct dvd more difficult, but it *was* found. In any event, to get the dvds back in their correct cases would have necessitated a trip to the store. This was a series of avoidable minor errors on both your part and our part.
This does **NOT** justify you (or anyone) to call a staff member here a "fucking bitch." It is inappropriate and will not be tolerated.
Your rental account has been closed. I suggest taking your attitude elsewhere.

-'Friend/Boss'
Sin City Adult
Store Manager/Area Supervisor"

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